Eating Disorders & Body Image Issues -- Recovery IS Possible

[Andrea Roe]

Earlier this month, my husband and I were at a friend’s wedding in the interior of BC, Canada (and it is gorgeous there!!). I did not know anyone there, except for my friend, who is actually more my husband’s friend. BUT, I was looking forward to our trip and the wedding celebration.

During my eating disorder struggles, an event like this would have stressed me out w-e-e-k-s in advance. I would have restricted my food intake to make sure I fit into my tiniest clothes and “look good.” I would have worried about what kind of food would be served there and about losing control and starting to binge (which wouldn’t have been the first time at a dinner buffet). I would have worried about me not knowing anyone and being alone, having no one to talk to, being the outsider…. None of this came to mind. I was there, having fun. People came up to me to talk, and I went up to them to start a conversation. I did not care about the size of my hips or what size my clothes were - that did not matter. There was no pressure to look a certain way. No starving ahead of time. No worrying about what food would be served. No worrying about me not knowing anyone there.

During my struggles, the scale was my best friend and my worst enemy at the same time – just like food was. I would weigh myself a couple of times a day and this number would determine my mood. It literally ruled my life. I was a slave to the scale.

Today, I don’t weigh myself anymore. In fact, I don’t even own a scale. And to be honest, I could not care less about how much I weigh. I like the way I look, I feel good in and about my body and that is all that counts.

By getting rid of your scale,
you are freeing yourself from a crucial part of your eating disorder!

I hope you’ll find the strength to free yourself from being addicted to the scale – throw it out, smash it with a hammer (that one is very therapeutic!!), give it to your therapist. Whatever you do, don’t let it come back into your house! As soon as you can take this crucial step, you'll be one step closer to recovery

I was not always the person that I am today. I was not always as confident as I am today. During my eating disorder struggles, I hated my reflection so much that whenever I saw myself in a mirror, I started to cry.

Why I am telling you this? Because I want you to know that you can get to this place too. It really is possible to get out of this vicious circle of food obsessing, constant calorie counting, over-exercising, etc.

Keep on believing in yourself and continue to be strong. You can do this!

Take very good care of yourself,

Andrea

PS. I invite you to check out my monthly ezine called the You Are Not Alone Support Letter which is filled with recovery stories, interviews, poems, artwork, recovery tips, and more... for more information, visit www.youarenotalonebook.com/supportletter.php

[Andrea Roe]

Hi Rebecca,
Thanks for sharing -- it's great that you are opening up and talk about how you are doing.
Getting better is about taking baby steps. And during my struggles, I always hated when someone told me that recovery means taking baby steps.. I didn't want to take baby steps. I wanted to take big huge steps and be done with my eating disorder and body image issues and get on with my life. But unfortunately, this is not how it works... We have to learn to be patient, we have to learn to be kind to ourselves. And these are all important lessons that recovery teaches us. And it's important to celebrate these baby steps. Like when you didn't weigh yourself for a day or were just about to buy diet pills but put them back onto the shelf and left the store without them. Be proud of yourself for moments like that. These are huge achievements. Victories.
It's one day at a time. One step at a time. And one step at a time may seem too slow some days but these small steps add up to making a HUGE difference. Each of thse baby steps brings us closer to our goals.
Getting better is about taking action. It's about implementing.
Try to do something nice for yourself every single day. Something you enjoy doing and that makes you feel good about yourself. You deserve to feel good about yourself.
It's a good start to put together a goal / recovery / gratitude book.. write down your goals and dreams. And also include what inspires you keep moving forward. Write down tips and tools that can help you on your journey and remind yourself of them often. This is also a place to write down your successes.
I had a book like that and found it to be very helpful. Working on it was therapeutic. It helped me see things clearer. And when I had a tough time, I'd take the journal out and remind myself of all the things I needed to be reminded of. It is a simple tool but can be very powerful.
All the best and take good care of yourself,
Andrea
PS. I invite you to check out my monthly recovery ezine called the Support Letter. It's filled with eating disorder recovery stories, poems, artwork, recovery and body image tips, and more.. for more information, visit www.youarenotalonebook.com/supportletter.php

[Rebecca Alley]

I want to get to that place where I am not doing all the things that you mentioned. I want more self esteem and self worth but I just don't know how to get there. I am so hung up on my size and so uncomfortable with myself all the time that I can't even stand to be around people who are thin let alone be friends with them. How can I change because God knows I wanna change. I hate being this way and missing out on so many different things because I have absolutely no self confidence. How do I get there?
Becky